For Evelyn

I wrote this article several years ago. Since then my father has died. I was honored to have spent the last months of his life with him. I held his hand the night he died and prayed to my mother to release him from his suffering... and she did. He was 76 and had truly lived his life. He was not a great adventurer or a traveling soul, he liked his front porch and a drink in his hand and his friends. On the other hand, I got an email yesterday from a friend about a friend. A daughter of close friends of ours was killed in a car accident yesterday while returning to her home after visiting her parents over the Christmas holidays. Miranda Hale, 25 years old, daughter of Mike and Kathy, sister to Justin, and mother of Kyler. It just reminded me of how quickly things change and how if you have dreams, you better live them now. Here's the article.

I lost a friend today. Too suddenly. Too young. And before I had a chance to really know her. I didn’t know her dreams. What did she really want ? What did she want to be? I know she had plans for someday. “Someday” when the kids are grown. “Someday” when she and her husband had saved enough money. I last saw her two days before she died. She had eight children at home, six of them adopted. They had just moved into a beautiful home. She wasn’t ill. She didn’t have the time to prepare herself or her family for this unexplainable loss. None of us were prepared. Since her death, I’ve wondered if she could have known what would she have done different. She was 31 years old and gone overnight. Her “somedays” are spent. Her dreams untouched.

Death causes us all to take stock of our own lives. An unexpected death lends a sense of urgency to this contemplation. A fear of being cheated of all life has to offer us. “Did I live my life the way I wanted to?” is a question all of us will have to answer someday. Almost daily someone approaches me and says “I wish I could do what you’re doing.” I’ve given up assuring them that they can do anything they want to do because they will not be convinced.

All of us that have decided to go off and live on a boat have had hurdles to bound. It requires sacrifices and, most importantly, compromises to live the life we want. Believe me, when the captain first started talking about living on a sailboat, I tucked that notion away very securely in the “future” file. After all, it just wasn’t possible. I had sons in high school who were not going to be convinced to give up their social life to go live on a boat. I also was the child that had lived closest to my father since my mother died. And let’s not forget our jobs and our bills.

Stubbornly, the captain kept pulling the dream out of the file. He didn’t want to get too old to live his dream. As health care professionals, we had witnessed too many times the scenario of the retiree who waited too long and was not healthy enough to enjoy what he had worked for all of his life. So we started jumping those hurdles. My sons already lived with their father for six months of the year which would allow us to live the dream at least part-time. My father is a pretty independent old cuss who really doesn’t need his youngest daughter fawning over him. Besides, without me being so conveniently located maybe the rest of the kids would come around more often. We sold the big house and most of the stuff. We quit our jobs and bought a boat.

There are still times I question if we’ve done the right thing. My father fell and broke his shoulder a year ago and I wasn’t able to get there right away. I’d like to see more of my youngest son’s football games and I miss my family and friends but the captain compromises with me by letting me fly back home when I feel the need. This keeps everybody happy. Although we’ve been lucky with employment so far, we always have to cross our fingers when it’s time to come back to Kansas for our six months on the hard that we’ll be able to find work. Currently the captain drives 80 miles one way every day to work. That is sacrifice!

But today, when I learned of my friend’s death, I felt so fortunate that we’ve decided to live our life as we do. There will always be other places I want to see and more people I want to meet, but I am so very thankful for the dreams I have realized in the places I have seen and the friends I have made.

We all have a choice in how we live our lives, no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that we don’t. Live the life you want now—before “someday” is out of reach. What are you waiting for?

Lastly, take a moment today and everyday to treasure the warmth of the sun, the energy of the wind, and the majesty of the ocean—for Evelyn and Miranda. And drink some cheap whiskey for my dad, Joe.


Happy New Year! Go Out and Live It.