Some Days You Watch The Show, Some Days You Are The Show

As I reported in my last blog, we eventually did leave Abaco.

On an early morning breeze we sailed out of the Bight of Old Robinson and through the Little Harbour cut to islands unknown.

The voyage was not a memorable one (always a good thing) and we coasted into the Royal Island Harbour by early evening. We toasted ourselves on our escape from the nirvana of the Abacos.

The next day we explored the ruins of the W.P. Stewart compound. As we walked the paved roads, sat at the bar of the main house, and admired (and tried to pry up) the beautiful ceramic tiles throughout the buildings, we tried to imagine how somebody managed to build all of this back in the 1930’s. Then we wondered how they managed to leave it all behind. Sadly we some of the last ones to walk it’s paths. Helicopters were already circling above, their occupants planning their grand ideas for this beautiful island.

The next night was the capn’s birthday. As usual, we had already made the acquaintance of several other boaters. There was no way this popular anchorage was going to be a “nekkid” one so we were playing it nice.

So, let the games begin. In our case, you can take the boat away from the party or you can take the party with you. At some point during the party, the birthday boy thought the wind generator was making too much noise. So he decided to stop it. No, he didn’t use the handy-dandy safety cord. Why mess with the middle man? No, instead he went straight to the source and grabbed, or tried to grab, a blade. The offended blade took a big old boat chomp (all those little toes stubs and head bumps are piddly little boat bites) and kept on spinning. Leaving something barely identifiable dangling from his hand.

Now don’t get to excited, it wasn’t as bad as it looked, we hoped. After cleaning up the blood, we wrapped up the shredded digit and partied on. We weren’t going to scare our guests off that easily. You can’t let a little thing like a severed thumb ruin a good party. If only there would have been a Wendy’s around.

The next morning the cap’n dragged me out of my bunk and thrust a needle and thread into my clammy shaky hands. Without the aid of liquid courage on my part but a healthy shot of lidocaine for the cap’n (when we’re not sailing and drinking this is what we do for a living. Scarey, huh?) I think I did a pretty darn good job of darning his thumb. He still has it.

One day for recovery from the surgery and the birthday party and we were off to Spanish Wells, which is dry (kinda). Thank goodness! We were ready for some rest and recovery.

"Honey, do I need to make ready for sea?"

“Nah,” comes the capn’s ready reply, “I can see it from here.”

Although we can see the entrance to Spanish Wells once we leave Royal Island’s harbour the cap’n goes ahead and hooks the GPS up to the computer so we can make sure the boat knows where it’s going.

Soon we can see the entrance markers. However, unbeknownst to us we are actually looking at the second entrance marker. We missed the first one while we were watching the little boat thing follow the mythical, and in this case, inaccurate path on the computer. But now that we are using our spare, secondary navigational aids, our eyes, we see that not only did we miss the first marker but as usual we’re on the wrong side of it. We crank the helm sharply to the left. We’re just feet from the channel when we hear that familiar “Thud” and all forward progress stops. You guessed it. We’re aground. Again. http://firstmatemary.blogspot.com/2008/09/hitting-rock-bottom.html We wiggle and waggle our butt end but as usual we can’t climb off that undersea mountain.

“Not to worry,” says the cap’n. “Tides coming in, it’ll float us off in no time.”

Of course, we haven’t escaped the notice the attention of the dozens of boats coasting up and down the channel that is right off our nose.

The radio crackles to life.

“Captain Ignoramus on the fat-bottomed sailboat on the obvious wrong side of the obvious channel, are you aground?”

Hey, who’s calling who an Ignoramus. Obviously, he can’t recognize the obvious either.

“Do you need a tug” comes the inquiry.

“No thanks,” the cap’n replies, “We’ll just wait until the tide comes in.”

An undignified snort comes from the other end of the airwaves and I’m pretty sure we hear guffaws in the background.

“Ahem, Captain you’ll be waiting quite awhile then. Tides going out”

About this time we start to notice a noticeable lean to port.

That damn computer! It had gotten the tide tables wrong….again. It had to be the computer’s fault, it couldn’t be some lingering sluggish (or downright dead) synapses from the birthday party or the previous year and a half in Abaco.

At least we were fortunate that Spanish Wells had a tow boat. What we didn’t know that the tow boat was in all actuality it’s ferry boat. And, of course, it was full of locals and tourists that were more than eager to delay their travel to help a vessel in distress.

And take pictures….

And videos…

Videos with audio.

Oh, Boy! Aren’t we lucky!

We thought we had reached the heights of our humiliation. If we only knew. It was about to get worse and worser.

The little tugboat that thought he could….couldn’t. No matter how hard he huffed and puffed. And passengers on the stern clicking and recording and asking us to smile were really starting to piss me off.

And of course, all the experts on all things of sailing nature were holding a symposium and buzzing around us in their dinghy’s like gnats. Rubbing their whiskers and espousing wisdom.

“Looks like your stuck.”

Duh!

“If you’d just gone on the other side of those markers u da been fine.”

Double Duh!

We even met up with our old friend Rick , from s/v Callaloo, who we hadn’t seen since we left Titusville two years ago. (A First Mate's Rule of the Road #256: Just like when you go to the grocery store without make-up, hoping you won't run into anyone you know...you will. And when you do something stupid on a boat and hope that no one you know will be there...they will.)


“What ya’ll been up to?”

“Uh, Rick, this really isn’t a good time for us. Can we catch up with you and Connie later?”

By this time one of the members of the dinghy council made the motion that we attach a line to the mast and pull her over. A vote was taken and the “Ayes” had it. I think they were just excited by the fact that although they had heard of this being done, none of them had ever seen it. Now, they were going to be a part of sailing history. And they had the pictures to prove it.

So a line was attached to our topping lift and one of the sturdier little boats took it and began to pull Agur’s Wish over as the tug/ferry boat tugged us toward the channel.

Slowly and surely, inch by inch Agur’s Wish slid her ass down the mountain and into the channel.

Cheers erupt and glasses are raised.

Problem over!

You think?

Now that the show is over, the passengers of the ferry/tug boat are eager to be about their way but…..the cap’n can’t get the line untied. So he hollers at me to go below and get a knife. (Why does he never wear that leatherman I got him?)

I go below to total devastation. Silverware on the floor, books in a heap….That’s probably what happened to that damn bell we’ve never been able to find.

I’m rooting around in the mess trying to find a sharp implement when I hear someone yell,

“Hey, you idiots, someone needs to be driving the boat!”

Okay, he didn’t actually say idiot but we knew who he was talking about.

I popped my head up the companionway to see that our boat was now free and headed right for the breakwater. The cap’n is still on the bow and giving me the evil eye. I surmised pretty quickly that I was the idiot that was supposed to be driving the boat .

We didn’t hit the breakwater. It was the only thing that went right that day. A little while later we were secure on our mooring and the cabin was put back to rights.

And Boy Oh Boy, did we need a drink!

P.S. You know there's always a P.S. We were moored next to the artist of the map of Spanish Wells along with his beautiful wife and young daughter. Spanish Wells is a very special place and I'll have more to say about it.

Since we have cleaned off the boat I am anxious to go through our old pics and the ones we have on the old computer and hopefully add them to my blog. That way I can quit stealing from others.