Another Day, Another Park

In my transient lifestyle, I found myself wandering the paths of another park. This one was not littered with the refuse of humanity but that was okay because I was feeling pretty bottom of the proverbial garbage pail about myself. It was one of those weeks when I had found myself to be embarrassingly human and even though the bruises weren't readily observable to the human eye, I was feeling pretty tender from the ongoing onslaught I was inflicting on myself.

The cap'n kept trying to reassure me that I was a good person, a nice person, a kind person but….he has to say that because he loves me and he was desperate because it ain't fun living with me when I am in this state of mind. So I didn't believe him.

So I'm on this path early one morning and I see an elderly gentleman ambling toward me. He has the rolling gait and the vacant stare of a Parkinson's patient. I am really in no mood for any kind of encounter but my good manners kick in and I smile and say, "Good Morning."

The man's vacant eyes light up, and he says, "Not everyone is friendly. I just passed a couple and said Good Morning and they didn't say anything back." He says, "I speak to everyone."

I go a few more steps down the path and dissolve into tears. I know that man was Jesus.

P.S. Please don't write and tell me I'm a good person, that's not the point of this little article. Instead I challenge you to stop yourself today every time you tell yourself that you're stupid, fat, ugly, weak…..You're human and you're doing the best you can!

Borrowed from my friend, Marlee
"Dear God, Please help me see the truth about myself no matter how beautiful. " - Alan Cohen

JESUS DON’T LIKE PIZZA

Years ago we were stuck in St. Augustine, on the boat of course. But as far as cities go, St. Augustine is one of my favorite ones to be stuck in. I had gotten into the habit every morning of jumping on my bike and pedaling over to Café St. George for their wonderful ham and cheese croissants. My trek took me over the paths of one of the city parks and past several of the city's citizens that lived in the park, or at least slept there. Now the Sisters of Divine Torture from my Catholic school days had always taught me that every person is God's child and when you help a stranger you could be helping Jesus. I think we even used to sing a song that went something like…"When I was naked, you gave me clothes, When I was hungry, you gave me something to eat" Well, something like that. We always giggled when we got to say naked in mass because we were six years old and it was the sixties and naked was still a "dirty" word to six year olds.

Anyway there were a lot of Jesus' maybes lying around in the park and I could feel the steely finger of Sister Irene drilling into my back as I drove past them. So of course I picked up a few extra croissants at the bakery, after all it wouldn't be right to offer Jesus a lowly bran muffin while I hate hot flakey croissants. As I made my way back through the park I sniffed past the bundles of humanity and kind of threw the greasy sacks of croissants at them. With my final sack in hand, I approached the last of my lucky beneficiaries. I had to force myself to go up to him. He scared me. I had seen him lurking around the marina and he was one of those guys that stared at you with these spooky eyes but if he caught you looking at him he skittered away. He was wrapped up in a dirty parka and had a stocking cap on top his nest of snarls and mats. I slowly extended the bag to him and he took it just as slowly and said a very quiet "Thank You". I rode away.

A few nights later I wheeled back to St. George Street in pursuit of the best pizza in the world which is to be found at Pizza Alley. Their Garbage Pail Pizza is twelve big slices of paradise right here on earth. I was riding through the park inhaling that heavenly scent when I saw two of my favorite Jesus' waving at me. Fart! Oh well, sacrifice is supposed to hurt. I steered their way and offered them two slices. They smiled their beatific gummy smiles and proceeded to propose to me. And I think they planned to be married to me at the same time because I had a feeling these two did a whole lot of unsavory things together. Relieved, I was able to explain that I was already married and that's a good thing because as every man that has every dated me can attest I am easily convinced. All two of them.

I was headed for the exit when I spotted my scary friend huddled on a bench. I sighed and went over to him.

"Would you like a piece of pizza?" I gently asked.

"I don't like #%*&ing pizza," he snarled.

I jumped back and wagged my finger at him.

"No more #%*&ing croissants for you, Jesse!"

Then I rode away to try to explain to the cap'n what happened to those other slices of pizza.