Shopping 'til I Drop

I spent the weekend in Houston with my sister and my wonderful, smart sister-in-law who would sweep the gold if shopping was an Olympic event. Unfortunately, or fortunately if you're the cap'n, I couldn't buy anything because we're heading back to boatland tomorrow and I have no way to tote it and I have no place left to store it (except for that secret drawer I mentioned in "Personal Orifices"). So I thought I would shop vicariously through you my loyal readers. Don't panic! I'm not turning this into a commercial site, it's just that once I started I couldn't quit. There's so much useful stuff out there and some really cute stuff too. Wouldn't you rather wear rainboots with bumblebees on them instead of those ugly foul weather boots. Oh shush you old salts, a girl knows that looking good is more important than not sliding off the boat. The two cookbooks are the only ones I have on the boat since I tend to save space by cruising the internet for recipes but the one by Kay Pastorius is the one that has my sourdough starter recipe in it and a lot of great recipes. The Cruising Chef has lot of great stories and info about using local ingredients.

The one item I definitely, recommend is the hook and go. We have had one or two of these aboard the boat since we've been aboard. It will hold as many bags as you can hook on it and it has a really wide wheel base so it has never tipped over. Plus it folds up to nothing. Boaters and non-boaters that have seen us using this strange contraption have asked us where we got it. Now you know.

And of course, there's my beloved Kindle but you've heard enough about that.

So thank you for indulging me in my round of guilt free shopping and tell your cap'n your just looking, not buying. Then show him the Nigel Calder book.

First Mate Mary's Peanut Brittle

I took this peanut brittle over to Concerto that night at Grand Cay. I also made it for the Hope Town Christmas Caroling. It is simply the best peanut brittle I've eaten and I'm not just sayin' that because it's mine. I'm sure I stole the recipe from someone but I don't remember who. So whoever it was, Thank You!

FIRST MATE MARY'S
PEANUT BRITTLE


3 c sugar
1 c corn syrup
½ c water
4 Tbsp butter
4c peanuts (I use cocktail or Spanish peanuts)
1tsp salt
2tsp vanilla
2tsp baking soda


Combine sugar, syrup and water and bring to a boil over med-high heat, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to medium and heat to 230 F. Add peanuts and heat to 300 F, stirring constantly. Stir in butter, salt, and vanilla. Remove from heat and stir in baking soda until mixture is foamy. Pour onto buttered cookie sheet. Allow to harden. Crack by banging cookie sheet against a hard surface (like the capn's head).

O' HOLY NIGHT IN THE ABACOS

We are off the boat and back on the Mother Land for a bit of work this Christmas. We will be spending our Christmas in a motel in Bay City, Texas. As we pulled into this hard-scrabble dusty south Texas town, I thought to myself, “This is where I’m going to be spending Christmas?” At that moment I was thrown back to Christmas Eve 2003 on Grand Cay, Abaco, Bahamas. My first day in the Bahamas, and I bawled my eyes out.

We had been working toward this moment ever since we bought the boat. We had been restricted to the East Coast for our previous sailing years because of family and custody requirements but since my youngest had graduated we were free to reach further. We had spent the summer and early fall readying the boat for passages south and attending two of our sons’ weddings and one grandchild’s birth. Shortly after Thanksgiving we made our way south toward West Palm Beach. We did our time in Purgatory at Lake Worth waiting for that elusive weather window. We became the pilot boat for the whole anchorage. Every morning the other boats would watch us pull up anchor and head out the inlet. They would then wait with bated breath, and coffees or Bloody’s until they saw us come back and do the anchoring dance again. Maybe tomorrow…

Then came the big day. December 23rd, 2003. We went out early a.m. as usual aaannnd came back, as usual. Put the anchor down and settled in until the next morning but waddayuno right in the middle of our brunch of stale bread and green tinged bologna we noticed a mass exodus of boats out of the anchorage. The cap’n , grateful for any excuse to throw his sandwich overboard, jumped up and hollered, “Haul Anchor”. And away we went.

I don’t remember if we motored or sailed but at about 11:00 pm that night we were on the banks and we were exhausted and decided to put down the anchor. The fact that the passage was not memorable is a good thing. We could see three other mast lights out there in the vast nothingness. We had left with 30+ other boats. Against the cap’ns wishes I lit the Christmas lights and blasted Bing Crosby across the ocean.

At about 4:00 a.m. the wind was piping and we pulled anchor and headed towards Walker’s Cay. It was Christmas Eve. We arrived at our anchoring place at about 10:00 a.m. I won’t call it an anchorage because we were way out in no man’s land because of our 6.6 foot draft, but that’s okay because there were three other boats stuck out in the aqueous boondocks with us. The first boat came back with great news. “Easy clear in. No problem”. We made ready for a landing. Unfortunately, we ended up being the last of the fleet. Unfortunately, it was the first year that the Bahamas had increased the cruising permit fee. Unfortunately, we were preceded in the clearing in process by a disgruntled Norwegian?, Finnish? Danish? One of those Viking type sailors who decided to wage his battle against the Bahamian government on the only customs agent on the island. Unfortunately, the agent took afront at this and walked out. She did return….an hour later. Unfortunately, we bore the brunt of her anger when she charged us $150 for a fishing permit that was supposed to be included in our cruising permit and that we only needed for two days, but as usual that’s another story. Thank you Ma’am. Have a Merry Christmas.
So four hours later we head back to the boat. Unfortunately, we are in an unprotected non-anchorage. Unfortunately, there is a storm brewing. So we haul anchor….again and head for Grand Cay

Grand Cay. Hmmm. Grand Cay. What can I say about Grand Cay? We were anchored about 2 zillion miles out. At least that’s the way it seemed to me. Keep in mind, I was sleep deprived, I might as well have been 2 zillion miles away from my friends, my kids and my Dad. I saw our future in the Bahamas as a boat on the horizon staring hungrily at the lights of an unreachable civilization. I could hear the hounds of trash island calling to me. (Anybody that’s been to Grand Cay knows what I’m talking about). I may have been PMSing also, maybe that’s why the hounds were howling. Let’s just say I made the cap’ns life a veritable hell that night which is my sole purpose in this world. Happy, Happy Christmas, Baby.

Christmas Day! We’re up early and head to town. Either my chakras are more balanced or my eyes are too swollen to take in the whole picture, but Grand Cay is looking better this am. Not good, but better. It’s Christmas Day though, so will we find anything open?
Good news! Grand Cay is not only open but it’s right out there on the street. Every inhabitant is either parked in a chair along the main street, (men on one side, women on the other) or, if they are of the younger variety, whizzing down the road on shiny new bikes or skateboards. The only population that is inside are the ones shooting pool at Rosie’s. I always thought Rosie was a petite older black woman….not! On all accounts…not!

We walk by the house/store fronts and ask the women sitting out front if they are open for business.

“Sure, Sweetie, What you want?”

We fall in love with the two cuties with matching hair ribbons and dresses, all dressed up and holding hands as they skip down the road.

We cheer wildly for the young daredevils racing their new bikes down the main drag.

We wince at the plethora of Styrofoam containers in use and disuse at the same time we sniff appreciatively and wonder where they got the contents..

Later that night we are aboard the S/V Concerto with our first new friends in the Bahamas, June and Geoff. This friendship continues today, even if they haven’t reciprocated in years, we still love them. We were joined by that disgruntled Dane, Hans and his Yankee wife, Joy. Hmmm…Joy?….Christmas?…..She was joyful and so was he away from the customs office.


My message? Don’t judge a book by it’s cover or an island by it’s refuse. Instead judge it by its’ people. You won’t be disappointed and you might just fall in love. Islands are like a box of chocolates and as Forrest Gump says “You never know what you’re gonna get.”
They all taste different, but they’re all good.


Merry Christmas from mine to yours!

P.S. My thanks to AwayTeamAbaco for the beautiful picture of the Hope Town Lighthouse (actually the Elbow Reef lighthouse)all decked out in holiday splendour. Our thanks also to the Hope Town Harbour Rats that worked so hard stringing the lights.

Chicken Souse

Last night we went caroling in Hope Town. This is a yearly tradition here. The locals, visitors, and boaters meet up at the Post Office dock and we wound our way through the streets singing the traditional songs. Several people carry handheld VHF radios so the caroling can be broadcast over the VHF radio. It was a lovely night, it had finally warmed up and we were able to wear shorts. Afterwards we were rewarded with bowls of hot chicken souse. Souse is the Bahamian remedy for the dreaded hangover, and in my opinion a lot better than Menudo. While chewing on piece of tripe from a bowl of Menudo in Miami, I turned to the cap’n and said, “If I were eating steak, this would be the part I would spit out.” Of course, hair of the dog ain’t bad either. The first recipe is a little more authentically Bahamian, the second one is for us that are neophytes to Bahamian cooking.

Chicken Souse Recipe 1

Ingredients
5 lbs portion chicken wings
1 onion
8 lemon/Lime "big sour" (your desired amount)
1/4 lemon Juice
pepper (your desired amt)
all-spice (your desired amt)
1/2 tspn salt (your desired amt)
1 carrot
1 stick of celery
2 Irish potatoes (if desired)

Directions
Clean portion wings in vinegar and warm water.
Place wings into pot containing and 8-10 cups of water. (this will ensure that all remaining oils and other particles are removed) let wings boil for about 5-8 minutes.
Remove from pot and place into a bowl containing cool water, rinse well with water and lemon juice. Place wings into pot with about 8-10 cups of water or until wings are completely covered.
Slice onions, pepper, celery, carrots, and potatoes. Add salt, onions, celery, lime , pepper, lemon juice and all-spice seeds. (Boil for about 45 minutes). Add potatoes and Carrots.
Boil for another 15-20 minutes. Serve with home made bread or Jonny Cake if desired.

Cooking time: 1 hr 30 min
Serves: 8

Chicken Souse Recipe 2

2 lbs of chicken (preferably wings or drumsticks)
4 chopped potatoes
2 sticks chopped celery
1 or 2 diced onions
1\2 cups allspice
1 or 2 bird peppers
salt to taste
2 limes cut in half

Cooking instructions:
In a large pot bring chicken to boil for approx 10 minuets, then strain. Return chicken to pot, fill pot half full with water and return to boil. Add potatoes, celery, onions, bird peppers, allspice, salt, lime. Boil until potatoes are done, stirring occasionally.
Final cooking time 30-35 minuets.
Prior to serving add more if desired. Serves 4
Try a Tropical drink with your meal

PLACES I'VE BEEN AND SHOES I'VE LOST

I was sitting here contemplating my gnarly old arch deprived feet the other day and I thought about the people that would be envious of me and my barefoot lifestyle. You know, the “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem” kind of life. The truth of the matter is….I don’t have any friggin’shoes left.

I don’t remember the first time I lost a pair of shoes. It was probably somewhere up north. Maybe in Block Island at the tiki bar at Champlin’s Marina. Probably the same night I learned to do the hand jive from some little girls that were sitting outside the bar’s entrance, the same night we couldn’t find the boat for a couple of hours. Hey come on, there were 1200 boats in the harbor.

There are a few times I do remember, though. Like my favorite pair of “Candies” sandals. (I admit, I never was a Manolo Blahnick kind of girl and anybody that knows me knows that.) They now rest in a watery grave at the Las Olas Marina in Fort Liquordale. We’d started our happy hour at Blondies on the corner of Las Olas Blvd. and A1A. Of course, Blondies’ happy hour starts at 10:00 a.m. and goes until. This is one of the cap’n’s favorite bars. He says it’s because of the scenery. Blondies is smack dab across the street from the beach which sports many signs that say nude sunbathing is not allowed under which numerous young nubile bodies are blatantly disobeying these public sanctions and the authorities are turning a blind eye but risking the other just for a peek. The cap’n went inside for some freshers and conversed with one of the patrons leaning tiredly against the bar.

“I’m so drunk. I really need to go home but I just can’t tear myself away from the view,” says the patron as he eyes one of the sun worshipers who I hope only had to pay for the half of the bathing suit she is wearing.

“Come on, man,” says my noble cap’n, “They’re obviously fake.”

“My complimentsh to the shurgeon,” drooled the bar patron.

Later on that night after bar bouncing down A1A with the cap’n and four other guys, (Mary’s a lucky girl!! One of them even looked exactly like Steven Segal, but his shirt was wrinkled and he lived in a cinder block house so I don’t think it was him.) we ended up back at the boat for a nightcap (like we needed one!). The tide was out, waaay out, and I was faced with a little 6 ft. hop down to the deck of the boat. I decided to do my best Baryshnikov impression and leapt…and missed…again. Instead of partaking of the assistance offered by my four handy male companions, I decided I’d retain what was left of my dignity while floating around with the skirts of my very short dress swirling about me and climb aboard myself. No, not by using the ladder. The cap’n never puts it down. I guess he doesn’t want it to get wet. Instead I’ll use the barnacle encrusted piling to which the boat is tied up. I’ll just use the barnacles as foot and handholds. Just like one of those climbing wall on those fancy cruise ships. Not a good idea, as my oozing scraped up arms and thighs would attest to in the weeks following. I did eventually make it back onboard but alas my poor “Candies” didn’t.

Marsh Harbour Marina and Jib Room Restaurant, Abacos, Bahamas. It was a dark and stormy night. I don’t remember what kind of shoes they were but I’d lived aboard long enough that I’m certain they were of the moldy variety. I can’t even blame it on too many Bilge Burners or any of the other lethal adult beverages that Steven, the bartender at the Jib Room, serves up. We hadn’t even gone into the Jib Room, instead we’d had a nice quiet dinner with some friends who lived across the road. Just a couple of glasses of wine. When the evening wound down, we made our way down the death defying steps of the Marsh Harbour Marina without mishap and proceeded to the dinghy dock to continue our passage home. Did I mention it was raining? For some imperceptible, idiotic reason I chose this night to abandon my usual “old lady, ass slide” into the dinghy and leapt feet first. And I made it! At least my feet did! The dinghy lurched one way, of course I lurched the other and with arms windmilling I ended up in the drink….again. By the time I sputtered to the surface, whatever shoes I had on were permanently embedded in the muck of the bottom. Another innocent pair of shoes left behind along with a pretty good chunk of my scalp on the dock. Thanks, Cleatus. Whooee! Those scalp wounds sure do bleed! Fins to the left, fins to the right. And I'm the only bait in town!

So this year before we got on the boat the cap’n refused to invest anymore capital into my shoe inventory. “Nothing but thongs,” he pronounces. I presume he meant the shoe kind. Have you ever tried to find flip-flops in Colorado in the winter? So here I am shoeless. But you know what? If shoes are required, I don’t think I want to go.

Potluck 3: Sourdough Starter and French Bread

Back on the boat for 4 days now and nothing is working (batteries are crapped out and the alternator is likewise) but this always works as long as you feed it and pamper it as prescribed. This makes a very hard crusty bread but delicious when you break through, kind of like the cap’n. Just mixed this up yesterday so it should be ready to bake by Thanksgiving, in time for the potluck we have planned here at Hope Town Marina. This is from the cookbook Cruising Cuisine by Kay Pastorius. I have been doing this sourdough since we moved aboard the boat.



SOURDOUGH STARTER

1 pkg. active dry yeast
2 cups tepid water
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

1.In a clean, rigid-covered container, dissolve the yeast in the water and stir in the flour. Don’t use a metal spoon--use a wooden spoon or chopstick.

2. Leave uncovered in a warm place (80 F to 90 F) for four days to a week, or until mixture bubbles and has developed a sour odor. Stir the mixture daily. If it smells bad or becomes discolored, discard and start again (also pertains to the cap’n)

3. You can begin using the starter or store it in the refrigerator. If stored in the refrigerator, allow it to come to room temperature before using.

4. You should feed you starter every week. Always save 2 cups of this mixture for an ongoing starter. If you have your original 4 cups of starter, either give half away or use it in baking. To the remaining 2 cups of starter, add 1 cup of unbleached, all-purpose flour and 1 cup of tepid water. Allow the starter to ferment and bubble overnight at room temperature, then use or place in the refrigerator.

5. You can also freeze the starter for 2-3 months. Thaw at room temperature for 24 hours, feed it some flour and water and it should start to bubble. If it doesn’t add a teaspoon of active dry yeast and let it ferment overnight.

6. If a gray liquid accumulates on top of the starter, pour it off. Wash your starter container every week with soap and water, then rinse and dry it. (also pertains to cap’n)

7. To use the starter in any bread recipe: 2 cups of starter equals 1 pkg of dry yeast and dissolving liquids in the recipe.



SOURDOUGH FRENCH BREAD

1 ½ cups room temperature starter
1 cup warm water
2 tsp of salt
2 tsp of sugar
4 cups flour

1. Mix together all the ingredients. Knead on a floured board until the dough becomes smooth and elastic. Add more flour if dough is sticky. ( I usually have to add quite a bit more)
2. In a warm draft-free area, allow the dough to rise in a greased bowl covered with a cloth until doubled in bulk. Punch down and allow to rise another 45 minutes.

3. Shape the dough and place in a greased loaf pan. (I usually just shape it and cook it on a cookie sheet) Allow to rise again.

4. Bake in a preheated 375 F oven for 45 minutes (usually takes my oven on the boat longer) until crusty and brown.

Lots more sourdough recipes to follow! The capn says to write something funny so I guess I’ll have to invite Kary May over. Thank God the liquor order is coming over on the afternoon freight boat.

An Island Anthem

I must be getting homesick but at least I 'll be on a plane heading that way tomorrow morning. I'm a huge Jerry Jeff Walker fan and just found this song by him that made me think of down there. For those that don't know, Jerry Jeff is the person that wrote Mr. Bojangles. I just saw him a month or so ago at Red Rocks. Of course, he had that tag-a-long Willie Nelson with him. Click on this.
http://www.intothesouth.com/media_h-i-j/JerryJeffWalker-CowboyBootsAndBathinSuits For some reason this won't come up as a link tonight but I'm tired and have a flight to catch in the am. But please check out the song because to me it is what the islands are all about. I'm going to listen to it one more time. Goodnight!

I freakin' give up!! Just google Jerry Jeff Walker "Cowboy boots and Bathin' suits. It will be worth it. At this point don't make me come after you!


Okay, I tried it again this morning and it decided to work. I don't know why, maybe Blogger was drinking to much Merlot last night.

Diet Ads

I don't understand why all these diet ads are showing up. I guess the google crawlers are trying to tell me something. I wish I could click on the ads myself (against the blogspot rules) and maybe I could figure out how to lose this last 25 lbs before I get to the boat in 3 days. Could somebody just email me how Rachel Ray's diet works or those 2 steps to a flat stomach or put it in the comments. And why are my before and after pictures in the wrong order? I'll talk to you when we get there.

Communications: Skype

I am busy trying to tie up loose ends before we get to the boat and I just wanted to mention Skype. I know most boaters already know about this wonderful service but for those not in the know skype is a voice over internet protocol phone and messaging system. The service is free if you are using computer to computer calling or text messaging and it only cost $.02 per minute if you are making a computer to traditional phone call. Go to skype.com and check it out. The days of getting away from it all are over and I know it because I see all these sailors with laptops in hand searching for hotspots everywhere. I would love to have all of you fellow skype usernames so we could chat or if we're in the same harbour we could call each other without those curious VHF listeners knowing our dastardly plans. The way this website works is that I review every comment before it is posted, so if you want to share your skype username with me post it to comments and I will respond with my username but nothing will be published to the www. or this website. Looking forward to chatting with you!

Potluck 2: Stromboli Recipe

Stromboli Recipe

Stromboli
This is so easy but looks great and is always a hit at potlucks. Plus you can make it ahead and heat it up and it's finger food so it's easy to eat during passages. For my dough I usually use my own sourdough bread recipe but I don't have the recipe here, since trying to bake bread at 10,600 is usually disastrous. I will post the sourdough recipe next week when I'm back on "da boat". I brought this to the big potluck that Grabbers(on Great Guana Cay, Abacos, Bahamas) has every Wednesday and Jimmy the manager ordered 100 for the next day. Of course I didn't deliver, I was too hungover.

Stromboli

1 Pillsbury French Loaf or home-made bread dough

2.Whatever fillings you want or whatever you have on "da boat". It's a great way to get rid of veggies that are going south faster than you are.

Instructions:

Find the seam in the Pillsbury French Loaf and unroll dough (this is easier to do if the dough is well chilled) or roll bread dough to a 11"x13" rectangle. Do not roll dough too thin.

Then just layer desired ingredients. Your are going to flip this over so make sure that the ingredients you want at the top, like cheese, should be the first layer. Place ingredients in the middle of the dough with enough dough on edges to fold over ingredients. Don't over stuff. Fold over sides and ends and flip the stromboli over. Brush top with olive oil or butter and sprinkle with grated Parmesan, maybe some rosemary...it's all up to you. Cut ventilation slits in top of stromboli and bake at 350F until crust is brown and cheese is bubbling through slits. Slice and serve Here are some examples with ingredients in the order I layer them:

Italian Stromboli
Cheese (Parmesan, Cheddar, Mozarella)
Vegetables (Mushroom, Onion, Green Pepper, Olives)
Meat (Pepperoni, cooked ground beef or italian sausage or both in your favorite sauce)

Chicken Alfredo

Cheese(Mozzarella, Parmesan)
Vegetables (Broccoli or Asparagus),
Meat (Chicken or Shrimp in Alfredo Sauce)

The possibilities are endless, Mexican, Vegetarian....

Personal Orifices or What the Heck Do Personal Orifices and the Kindle Ebook Have In Common

It’s my secret spot. One that I don’t dare tell anyone about. A mysterious niche undiscovered. A treasure cave unplundered. I must guard it. Protect it. Man will fight to claim it. He would fill it with his tools of manhood. I must be strong! I must withstand his persuasive ways. I must hold on to the final thing that is mine and mine alone.

It’s the last empty drawer on the boat and I’ll be damned if he’s going to put his socket wrenches in it.

I can recall a time when our boat was new and the storage seemed endless. Two hanging lockers for clothes, an extra cabin for guests, deep wells of storage behind the salon cushions and cavernous cockpit lockers would be darn near impossible for us to fill. We carefully planned where everything would go. We even made diagrams and lists of what was where. We divied up our personal space. The galley, of course, was for galley stuff. Pots and pans, dishes, and, hopefully, edible things would reside there. The nav-station was for navigation stuff. Although I thought it was tacky to have a radar screen, numerous radios, and fathoms of cords in my salon, I held my peace as long as they stayed where they belonged. A place for everything and everything in its place.

It was almost unnoticeable at first. The intertwined cords of the nav-station seemed to reproduce overnight and before I knew it they were tumbling with wild abandon out of their cubby holes and onto the shelves of the salon. The tools started to metastasize into the galley. The fenders found their way down the companionway into the aft cabin. The solar panels, dock lines, and boom vang soon followed. I mistakenly let our bread bin go empty one day and returned from the store to find if full of spare oil filters. .

So now the aft cabin has become the garage, whose contents have to be transferred to the salon when any of our guests insist on sleeping there. After three nights of sleeping in the cockpit, they’ve seen enough stars! The wet locker is the storage shed and the hanging lockers have so much junk, excuse me, “crucial boat equipment” in them we can’t get to our clothes. Our cockpit lockers are still cavernous but it takes a major excavation to find anything you need in them.

When I approached the captain about this problem, he agreed wholeheartedly that there is definitely a shortage of storage space. His solution? Get rid of the food! Make sure and keep just enough galley space available for rum and beer. Then get us some good multi-vitamins. They don’t take up much room. Oh yeah, get rid of all the clothes too, he leared.

So much for seeking logical advice from a boat addled mind.

You would think after twelve years, there would be nothing left to take to the boat but it seems year after year we find more offerings that she would appreciate. And of course, my lockers there mirror my closets here in our dirt dwelling. Both of them are full of clothes that I’m going to get back into next year. This year however, I’m being selfish. Don’t worry, I’m planning on doing my part to pay homage to the boat. I’ve bought a sewing machine and bolts of material to recover her salon cushions. The only problem is, I’m going to have to teach myself to sew. I’m sure by the time I’m done with this project it will qualify as a sacrificial bloodletting and when you drive by the boat the person speaking in tongues will be me as I try to wind a bobbin or something as equally perverse to me.
.
But back to being selfish. I’ve just got to share with you other feverish readers the treasure I’ve found. It is the Amazon Kindle. It is an ebook device that does so much more. It operates wirelessly through Sprint’s Whispertel network. When you are located in the Whispertel service area you can purchase and download books from the Amazon Kindle store to your Kindle within minutes if not seconds. Best of all, if you are not in an area where Whispertel is available you can download the books to your computer and then transfer it to your Kindle using an USB cord. You do not have to subscribe to Sprint and the wireless delivery is free. You do have to register your Kindle with Amazon and set up an account. You can even subscribe to newspapers and magazines. Best sellers usually go for about half price and, of course, you can shop for less expensive books or go to the internet’s various free ebook sites such as http://www.freekindlebooks.org/ or http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page The books must be in mobi format.

You can also download audio books and music. If you are in a Whispertel location you are able surf the net and send email which is experimental and free at this time.

The device holds about 200 books and once you have purchased a book from Amazon it is always there in your account if you decide you want to download it again. You can save any non-amazon books to a separate memory chip to save storage room on your device

There’s always a downside so… The initial purchase is an expensive $360.00 but I figure it pays for itself in my enjoyment and the amount of time I won’t waste reading books from book swaps that I never would have read unless I was desperate. The backside of that is you can’t share or swap books you like.
Also, you can’t take advantage of free ebooks from your public library because of the format.

I now have about 80 books downloaded and free shelfspace on the boat. I have had no problems with it and a friend on another boat dropped his and they actually sent him on free of charge. The bad thing is that another friend tried to order one and there was a 13 week wait.

Now all I have to do is figure out what to do with all that book space I’ve freed up. Of course, I’ll have to guard it from the cap’n but the good news is Nigel Calder’s books are also in the Kindle format too. Imagine all the space that will provide.Check it out at http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=afimasruofthr-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B000FI73MA&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr14 days until the boat

CONFESSIONS OF A MASS MURDERER

This is such an exciting time of year for us boaters. Everybody’s buying new gadgets (I’ll tell you about mine later). And ,of course, we’re stocking up on those cheap items we can find in larger ports before we head off to the boonies. I just have one piece of advice. Okay, I have a lot more than that but I’ll limit myself for now.


CONFESSIONS OF A MASS MURDERER

(THE SERIAL ROACH KILLER CHRONICLES)


Glossary: ECGIER=Every Cruising Guide I Ever Read


Today’s topic is how to prevent roach infestation. As is explained in ECGIER roaches are proliferate in tropical climates. Which, by the way, is where most of us dream of cruising so here are a few helpful hints offered in ECGIER.

Tip 1: ECGIER said that roaches love to lay their eggs in the glue of cardboard boxes and canned good labels. The solution is easily apparent. Never, ever, ever, ever bring these items aboard your boat. So the easy solution is to take those four grocery cart loads full of non-perishable goods that ECGIER told you to get and push them down to the dock. Then, before stepping foot on your boat remove every non-perishable item that is stored in a cardboard box, which is about 48% of the non-perishable food that ECGIER told you to buy and place it in a non-disposable, sealable plastic container. Don’t forget to label and include cooking instructions. Next take all the canned goods which make up about 50% of the non-perishable food items ECGIER recommended you purchase and remove the labels. Don’t forget to label and include cooking instructions and expiration dates although ECGIER says expiration dates don’t really matter unless the cans start to bulge or emit noxious fumes, kind of like the cap'n. The most important thing is to get rid of the roach eggs. That’s good because by the time you complete this process the expiration date on most of your items will have passed anyway. Okay so now we’re left with 2% of the non-perishable food items that ECGIER recommended you purchase that you can transport directly onto the boat…unless they have a label or happened to touch a canned good or a cardboard box. And you never know where those things have been before they became yours. Truthfully, I skip this step and I have never, ever seen anybody sitting out on a dock doing this but every cruiser I have met swears they never bring cardboard on a boat.

Tip 2: It’s about a week later and you're finally ready to bring your provisions on board the boat. There’s just one more thing that ECGIER recommends. It seems that roaches also like to lay their eggs in the adhesive of paper bags. No problem, right? You sacked all your groceries in plastics bags. Your out of the woods except…..Doesn’t flour come in paper bags? Red alert! Red alert! Some roach eggs might have fallen into the flour. So now you need to take that fifty pounds of flour ECGIER recommended you buy and put a bay leaf in every sealed plastic non-disposable container. Then for good measure freeze if for a week. If you have a freezer.I guess if you don't have a freezer you're doomed to live among the enemy.
By now your boat should be a roach free happy environment until the next time you go to the store except……ECGIER didn’t take into account that in the tropics some of the roaches have wings. So what it if they call them Palmetto bugs. They are not cherubim and seraphim of dearly departed formerly earthbound roaches. Nope they’re real roaches and they are free to fly about your boat.

Tip 3: ECGIER has their favorite roach bait recipe (Which makes me a little suspicious that the authors may be sneaking cardboard or labeled items on to their boat). They all have the consistent ingredient of Boric acid with assorted mixers ranging from sugar and water, sweetened evaporated milk and even dog food. I’ve tried them all and it seems like the dog food works best, just make sure Fido can’t get to it. Just dump a healthy dose of Boric acid in bowl and add mixer until you have a thick paste like consistency ECGIER recommends that you make little patties out of the stuff and then let them dry out on wax paper before placing them in the places roaches like to hang out but we like to serve ours up in used rum bottle caps of which we always seem to have plenty. Overnight you should start spotting some of those good roaches. The dead ones. Just pray they haven’t laid eggs.

Tip 4: How to spot a roach egg. This is pretty simple if you look in a locker and you find spilled pepper and you don’t happen to store pepper in that locker, you have found your roach eggs. They are little black specks that look just like pepper. There may be just a few individual ones or you may find clumps of them in the corner of the locker. In the early days I didn’t really even worry about eggs. I never saw any. Of course, I didn’t really know what I was looking for. I only worried about damage control when I found the live proof of infestation. Then out would come the Boric acid and the commerical traps. I’d find a few corpses and think my job was done. Then a few weeks later I’d see these tiny little beetle like things with wiggling antennae crawling around or doing the backstroke in the dog dish. They didn’t look like roaches. In fact they were kind of cute. Kind of like how pit bull puppies are cute. Well, don’t get attached to the things because now’s the time to strike before they have time to mature enough to mate and expand their family tree. You don’t want your boat to become their ancestral home. .

Tip 5: Give ’em Da Bomb In truth, I’ve really only had one invasion and having lived aboard on and off for eleven years, most of them in the tropics, I consider myself lucky. Unfortunately, the one infestation got out of hand because I kept trying the various aforementioned remedies and each generation got a little more resistant to my various potions. I knew when I saw them doing reps with my barbells (at least someone was using them) it was time to try something else.I happened upon the bombing solution when we were leaving the boat for a period of time in the Bahamas. The local that was going to be looking after the boat while we were gone came on to familiarize himself with our systems and noticed our growing colony of unwanted “guests”. He volunteered to take care of the pests for us also. While we were gone he set off a couple explosive devices and we have not had any return visitors for many years. It probably helped that most of the food was off of the boat at the time. Or maybe our guests finally figured out that I wasn’t going to feed them any more of the delicacies I had been concocting for them and went off to find a more gracious hostess.

Tip 6: Skip Tips 1-4 and go straight to Tip 5 at the first sighting of these sneaky creatures. Show no mercy! None of this hand to hand (more like hand to mouth) combat. Go straight for da bomb. Of course, follow the manufacturer’s instructions on the deployment of all weapons in your artillery.


Tip 7: Please make sure you have no open flames on the boat when you set a bomb. The first time we were in St. Thomas there was a guy and his friend on his boat that set off a bomb and then went up on deck and were promptly blown into the wild blue yonder. One of them survived, one didn’t Apparently, the owner had left a pilot light lit on his stove.

I'm off for a good Chianti and some fava beans.

HAVE A GOOD DAY!

Potluck: Chicken Tortilla Soup Recipe

I'm sitting here way up in the Rockies, the temp is dropping, the wind is picking up, and there's white stuff on the ground. I'm ready for something hot but since I still have 27 days to go before I'm back on the boat in the Bahamas I guess I'll have to settle for soup. I fixed this for potluck one night when we were all waiting out a storm at the Alligator River Marina in NC. This is easy to do on the boat because all the ingredients for the basic recipe are usually on the boat or you can substitute like items, plus it's one pot, and you can have it ready and just heat it up when everybody's ready to eat. Darnell, here's a recipe like you asked for and I hope others will add more.

Chicken Tortilla Soup
2lb of cooked chicken cut up into bite size pieces, or 2 cans of chicken breast meat
2-3 cans of chicken broth
1 can of Rotel tomatoes
1 can of chopped green chiles or jalepenos
1/2 medium onion diced
1/2 green pepper diced
4-8 oz of cream cheese (I use cream cheese in place of Sour cream on the boat because it keeps better)
1 can of corn (optional)
1/4 cup of uncooked rice (optional)
Cilantro chopped (add right before serving or use it as an optional topping if you or your guests don't like cilantro

Toppings

Tortilla chips (put 'em on the bottom or top, whatever your preference
Cheese
jalapenos
avocados
Guacamole
Sour Cream
salsa

Just throw all the ingredients in a large stock pot and let simmer all day or if you don't have all day just heat until cream cheese is melted and rice is done if you added it. Add cilantro right before serving. Top soup with whatever you like and enjoy.

Fantasy Fest Survival

OMG! I almost forgot what time of year it is. It's Fantasy Fest Time. Yeah, I've been, Nah, I didn't get a total body paint, Yeah, I got me some beads, wampum,...and I still couldn't get me a drink. Here's the story.
We happened to be in DC at Gangplank Marina on 9/11, we happend to be scheduled to fly out of Reagan that morning back to Kansas and home, obviously, that didn't happen. The Potomac was closed and we were stuck, but I have to say what a profound time to be there and we wouldn't trade it for the world. However, 3 weeks later the Potomac opened up and the cap'n says "I'm going to Fantasy Fest!" Not even stopping by Disney World, he was going to "Fantasy Fest!" And as he likes to say, "I've been to two pig pullin's and three county fairs but I ain't never seen nothin like that. Well, if you're going to go take some advice from me.

FANTASY FEST SURVIVAL GUIDE


“Get dressed up and I’ll take you out tonight,” the cap’n said.

I could hardly believe my ears. What would I wear? A little short slinky number or something more sophisticated? Where will we go? A nice, quiet restaurant or a lively bar? I’ll go all out. I’ll put on make-up and even style my hair. Of course, I’ll have to do it under the hand dryer in the marina bathroom.

This was all before I found out the cap’n’s idea of dressing up was an itsy bitsy bikini top and a long, but tight mermaid skirt.

“Uh, I don’t think so!”

Not with this forty-something, never-met-a-food-group-I-didn’t-like body. Now I don’t mind indulging the cap’n’s sordid imagination on the rare occasion. But in the privacy of our own boat, for Chrissakes! Not out in public! Not on your Buster Browns!

“Where in the world did you think you were going to take me dressed like that?” I implored.

“To Fantasy Fest,” the cap’n replied.

“I can’t go in that get-up,” I cry. “I’ll be horribly over-dressed!”

For the few unfortunate and unenlightened souls out there, Fantasy Fest is a yearly event in the Conch Republic of Key West. Every year in October thousands of people converge on this small island to dance, go naked, get painted, and get plastered.

A lot of us think this is fun!

A few tips before you go though:

Have a designated place to meet if you should get separated because amidst a throng of 70,000+ bodies, you will get separated. And when you do get separated the cap’n should at least put up a plausible act of trying to find you. Unlike one cap’n I know very, very well (right down to a certain special place where the angels kissed him) who, when his first mated finally located him at 4:00 a.m., said ,”But Honey, I stayed in the same spot where we got separated the whole night so you could find your way back to me.” The fact that he was finally located a half a mile from that spot was damaging enough. The numerous pictures of numerous pairs of female protuberances in front of numerous different bars sealed the verdict. Busted!

Make sure each of you has your own money. I witnessed one poor abandoned mermaid who had gotten separated from her cap’n who didn’t even have the fare to pay for the water taxi back to her boat, much less any money to buy herself a drink. I did have one very nice older man that kept offering me a ride on "their bus" back to the hotels that I had to convice that his bus could not take me back to my boat on a mooring in Garrison Bight. I did manage to borrow the 15.00 water taxi fee from him, now if I could only find the water taxi. I should have had a counter on for how many times I walked between Duvall Street and Schooner's Wharf. Now for those of you that choose to undergo a total body painting you’ll have to be a little more imaginative in stashing your cash. A“fanny pack.”perhaps.

The cap’n advises that you take your dog with you, in case you get separated from your first mate. You’ll need some companionship. No, Dummy, not from the dog. You use the dog as a chick-magnet. Apparently it works because Stanley, the dog, got more beads I did and he didn’t even have to humiliate himself to do it.

Buy your first-mate lots of beads so she won’t feel rejected if nobody asks to view her feminine attributes. Not that she would show them if asked. Would she?

Have Fun! And by the way, if you see some poor, lost, bedraggled mermaid wondering around, buy me a drink, darn it!

Aw!! Stanley looks so young then, he's older now, wiser, and blind. The same could be said of me.

Going Off: Intracoastal Waterway vs. Offshore Passage

Howdy everybody,
It's that time of year again. Everybody's stocking their boats up and getting ready to head south. There's just one question, do you do the ICW or do you bite the bullet and go offshore. Here's my take on the issue. As usual, it's completely unbiased.

I’ve decided to come out of the closet. I’m stepping forward and declaring my true feelings. I’m tired of pretending to be something I’m not. I’m a little nervous but I am unashamed for I know there are others like me out there. I know this because they’ve told me. Muttered under the breath confidences while surrounded by “normal” sailors. Somebody has to be the first to make the admission, so here I go.

“I hate offshore passages…..especially offshore passages at night.”

Already I hear the collective horrified gasps of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” sailing community.

“Infidel!”

“Perversion of sailing nature!”

I know. I know. Believe me I’ve suffered a guilt complex for years. It took forever for me to admit even to myself. Years of doing it but never really liking it.

So what is a sailboat’s first mate of a different persuasion to do? Well, for the last three years the cap’n and I have been fortunate enough to sail the eastern coast where there is a very handy solution to this problem. It’s called the Intracoastal Waterway. It has great scenery and the social possibilities abound with its parade of sun seeking boats. There are great places to dock or anchor. The best part is if you get into trouble you can pull in somewhere without having to call the coast guard to come out and get you. As a matter of fact, I feel it’s downright unpatriotic not to use the ICW. It took a lot of men a lot of years to dig this ditch for us. I guess somebody else didn’t like offshore passages either. We owe it to them to use it as often as we can.

So what’s the problem?

The cap’n hates it!

Okay, I admit it does get a little skinny here and there and it’s a little humiliating to have all your new friends hearing you hail Sea Tow on the VHF. These are probably the same friends you spent the night before espousing sailing wisdom to. But it’s only mud and as they say on the ICW and just about every other body of water, “If you haven’t run aground you’re either lying or you never left the dock.”

“I just can’t relax if I have to watch the depth gauge all the time,” the cap’n whines.

Relax? Oh yeah. Let me describe a relaxing overnight passage we did across the Chesapeake to Norfolk, VA. Yeah, I know it’s not offshore but it was doing a damn good impersonation that night. A fluke of nature? I don’t think so since it repeated itself a few days later on a true offshore from Wrightsville Beach to Charleston. All of you of the offshore persuasion can read on and reminisce.

It was a beautiful, clear starlit night. There was no wind, of course, and NOAA was predicting waves of one foot. We all know NOAA has a tendency to lie. The cap’n defended NOAA. He says the waves really were 1 foot or less it was the swells that were seven to ten feet. So it was just like one of those wonderful offshore nights. You know one of those nights where it feels like some demonic grandmother has lifted you up and is rocking you madly to and fro until you throw up. You dutifully pull your watch but even when you’re off watch there is no rest for the weary. Instead it seems you’re at the hands of some amateur magician who keeps levitating you of your bunk just to drop you a few seconds later. And he just won’t give up, he keeps trying over and over and over again. Of course, your stomach is levitating and dropping right along with your tired body.

So let’s compare. The previous described relaxation versus going aground in soft mud and sitting back and tossing back some cold ones until Sea Tow comes to rescue you. Seems like a no brainer to me.

The cap’n won’t give up.

“It saves time,” he argues.

That’s a good argument but consider the following scenario. The story you are about to hear is true and not even the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

See the cap’n and I and our friends, Larry and Joan, at Point A discussing our sail plans over sundowners. The cap’n is adamant and a bit superior in his plans to go offshore to Point B. Larry and Joan demurely state that they have decided to do the ditch. See Mary (me) look enviously at Larry and Joan.

The next morning:

See the cap’n and I wave regretfully at our friends as they head down the ditch and we head out the inlet. It will probably be awhile before we meet up since we’ll be so far ahead of them.

Two days after departure:

See the cap’n and I drop the anchor at Point B. We are so exhausted we barely make it to the bunk before we crash. We sleep the whole day away.

Three days after departure:

See Joan and Larry wave gaily as they anchor next to us at Point B. See the cap’n scrubbing saltwater stalagmites that have formed over all outside, and some inside, surfaces. See me resecuring and restowing escaped stuff in preparation for our next relaxing offshore leg.

See Larry and Joan get into their dinghy to go explore town and get a bite to eat. Our dinghy is deflated and secured.

See Joan smile happily at Larry.

See me shoot daggers through my eyes at the cap’n.

The next morning:

See Larry and Joan heading back down the ditch.

See the cap’n and I following right behind them.

THE END!


38 days 'til back on the boat

By the way GW is getting pretty lonely down there as my only other first mate and I'm getting my feelings, but hey, it's not all about me, wait a minute, I guess it is since I haven't heard from the rest of you. You know being Catholic, I've got plenty of guilt to spread around.

Paying Homage

So now you've bought the boat and every waking hour thought and talk is about the boat. Get used to it 'cause it never goes away:

Paying Homage

We’ve all been through it! Our significant others decided to go live on a boat and take us with them. We took a look around and queried, “But what are we going to do with all of our stuff?” The answer was quick and flippant. “We’ll sell it! After all, it’s just stuff.”

So we, the reluctant partners, began the painful process of divesting ourselves of our prized possessions. We even felt a little guilty if we got emotional over our Grandma’s cherished silver tea set or the kids’ grubby Teddy bear. “How could we be so materialistic?” we derided ourselves.

Then in the midst of packing and tagging, what should pull up to our curb? A UPS truck? What’s this? Doesn’t he know we bought a boat? We’re selling things, not buying things. We have broken the unholy chains of materialism. Amen! Allelujah!! The doorbell rings…

I throw open the front door. My loins are girded for the battle against this dark angel of temptation whom I used to welcome with open arms. Of course, that was in my unenlightened days of catalog and internet shopping orgies. That was before I found my salvation in “The Boat”.

Chin jutting forward, I stated, “You must have the wrong address.”

“Is this number 10 Easy Street?”

“Uh, yeah, but…” I sputter.

“Just sign here, lady,” he directs right before he yells over his shoulder, “Hey fellas, start unloading.”

Wait a minute here! My eyes zone in on the dollies of boxes bearing a litany of names like West Marine, Boat US, Marine Electronics…. An ugly suspicion begins to form. My narrowed eyes search out the captain who has been cowering in the corner.

“But, Honey, it’s for “The Boat”, he stammered.

That’s when I had a revelation. For the captain, the boat had become a sort of goddess. He devoutly believed that we had to surrender all our worldly goods and make enormous donations to “The Boat”. In exchange, “The Boat” would provide for us a life of happiness and well-being. The captain believed our only path to salvation was to follow “The Boat’s” commandments. By doing this, we would keep “The Boat” happy and never suffer her wrath which could include such calamities as; dead batteries, high engine temperatures, and bad head smells.

For you poor unenlightened souls “The Boat’s” commandments are:

Thou shalt love “The Boat” above all other boats, and just about everything else except for your mate, although in some cases even the mate can be considered sacrificial.
Thou shalt never take “The Boat’s” name in vain.

Thou shalt honor “The Boat” by weekly pilgrimages to the nearest West Marine Store.
Thou shalt not covet another’s “Boat”.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against “The Boat” by blaming her for mishaps that were really your fault.

Thou shalt give testimony to “The Boat’s” glory by speaking endlessly and exclusively about “The Boat”.

Thou shalt not leave “The Boat” for a house, condominium, or RV.

Thou shalt fervently treasure the hardships “The Boat” bestows upon you such as limited water, limited electrical capacity, and plentiful head smells, for these are the things that make you strong (in more ways than one). Do not congregate with those persons who would try to convince you otherwise.

Thou shalt not bring shame to “The Boat” by poor navigation, sloppy sail trim, or mortifying anchoring techniques.

Last, but not least,Thou shalt subscribe to every boating magazine available. Thou shalt go from port to port spreading their words of wisdom, thus increasing sales and the editors' cruising kittie.

*You also earn special graces from “The Boat” if you fall on the floor, contort your body, and speak in tongues while changing her oil filter.

I’m sure you’re asking if I have been converted. Alas, I’m afraid not. This year I brought aboard one box containing books and a video. Nothing to offer up to the goddess. The captain had thirteen boxes of offerings ranging from a new GPS (I guess she wasn’t happy with the three we already had ), countless shackles (before we had the boat, I was aware of only one use for shackles, but I’ll exercise ”restraint” and not go in to that),. I’m sure a sacrificial lamb is tucked in their somewhere. Is there hope for deprogramming the captain? About as much chance as that snowball had in hell. You can learn to live in harmony, though. It’s all about compromise and respecting each other’s different beliefs and callings. Remember my Grandma’s tea set? Why don’t you come on over to “The Boat” for tea and then we’ll do some penance by going shopping—for “The Boat” of course. Wouldn’t she look better with me in that cute little outfit I found.

Emergency Medications for Cruisers

I sent Kary May back to Great Guana Cay where she is probably busy picking splinters out of her thighs. Which reminded me that I probably need to restock our medical bag for the season.
A surgeon friend of ours was good enough to make us a list a couple of years ago and I thought I'd share it with you before you start heading out.

EMERGENCY MEDICATIONS FOR CRUISERS

INFECTIONS such as severe sinus infections, diverticulitis, appendicitis, prostatitis (men only duh), travelers diarrhea (from contaminated water) use Levaquin 500 mg. 1 pill every day for 10 (ten) days or Avelox 400 mg. 1 every day also for 10 (ten) days. Septra DS (Bactrim DS) 1 twice a day is also good. For skin infections from cuts, abrasions, burns, coral bumps, etc you can use Levaquin with the dose above or Penicillin 500 mg every 6 (six) hours. Penicillin is cheap. Levaquin is not but you should have it aboard for the more serious infections. Use your on board antibiotics only when a medical facility is not readily available. For a tooth abscess use Penicillin or Avelox. Penicillin has always worked best for me but if you are allergic to Penicillin, Levaquin or Avelox are OK to take. Urinary tract infections (burning on urination with possible blood or pus) can be treated with Cipro 500 mg. twice a day or Levaquin or Avelox in the dosage above. After a course of antibiotics, diarrhea (yellow stools) may occur. You may need Flagyl 500 mg. Every 8 (eight) hours for 10 (ten)days. Downside to this is that you can not consume alcohol. Bummer !

PAIN CONTROL For minor pain use Tylenol, Advil or Aspirin. For severe pain use Ultraset 37.5/325 mg. 1 tab every 12 (twelve hours) or Tylox (Oxycodone) 5/500 1 or 2 (one or two) every 6 (six) hours. These are potent narcotics and you should seek medical help soon. Most of these meds will require an RX from your Doc. as serious liver damage has been reported. . Check the label of your meds for contents.If you drink more than 9 (nine) drinks a WEEK , (not per day) you should NOT use Tylenol or Acetaminaphen

BURNS For minor burns (stove bites, 2nd degree sunburn or anything that blisters the skin, etc) use Bacitracin cream or Triple Antibiotic cream. Apply as directed and have an assortment of bandages, Telfa pads, Coban dressings and gauze dressings aboard. For severe burns when the skin is charred (fire, electrical fires or spark) use Silvadene Cream. Apply liberally, bandage and seek medical help fast. CHEST PAIN Carry aboard Nitroglycerin (not the explosive) tablets. Place 1 (one) tablet under the tongue and allow to dissolve every 5 (five) minutes up to three tablets. Start an Aspirin regimen of 325 mg daily ASAP. Seek medical advice faster. For preventative measures take one baby aspirin, 80mg per day

YEAST INFECTIONS (Women only, duh) Use Monistat (available over the counter OTC) vaginal suppositories or cream and apply as directed. You gals may have to take Acidophilus to replace the lost vaginal bacteria when using antibiotics.

ACID REFLUX DISEASE / ULCERS You can use Nexium 40 mg. Or Protonix 40 mg each 1 (one) daily. Consult your physician before beginning this regimen.

NAUSEA /VOMITING For your guests that may be not acclimated to the bouncing, rolling and pitching of boats, we use Dramamine or Meclazine both OTC. Scopolamine patches are also now available. For severe N/V Phenergan Suppositories work well.

MISC. For colds use OTC cough and cold drugs. Sudafed is good for runny noses and congestion. Benadryl 25mg OTC is good as an antihistamine and anti itch. Carry some sterile eye wash, antibiotic eye ointment, ear antibiotic and a bee sting kit as precaution. You should carry a 3 (three) month supply of medications along with whatever meds you routinely take and have prescriptions or copies of prescriptions for all drugs aboard your vessel.

And since most of us are cheap ass cruisers remember to ask for generics.

Kary May's Sexy Guide to Buying a Boat

I’d been in the Bahamas for several months when I noticed a strange phenomenon kept occurring. I’d introduce myself to someone and they’d say “I already met you over in Guana. Don’t you remember, you were dancing with that tree.?” It took a little investigation but I finally discovered that I had an evil twin that lived on Great Guana Cay. Her name is Kary May and she dances with trees and poles because, unlike men, they don’t spin her too fast or dip her too low but somehow she still manages to fall down.

Unfortunately, Kary May showed up last night and these are her ideas on how to buy a boat….

I’ve been racking my brain all week on how to help my cousin, Mary Kay, help you all figure out what kind of boat to buy. I pondered all of the advantages and disadvantages of every kind of boat and how to steer you towards the boat that was right for you. Power vs. sail, mono hull vs. multi hull, 2 heads vs. 1, propane vs. alcohol…

And then, as it is prone to do, my brain turned to the subject of sex. I tried to turn it back to task--think sail trim, think bow thrusters, think self-tailing wenches, but it all brought me back to “SEX”. How in the world is buying a boat at all akin to “SEX”.

And then it came to me.

All of the four main boat types that we encounter in our boating life share attributes with various suitors we have encountered or would like to encounter. We’ll call them Monohull Mike, Multihull Mario, Trawler Tom, and Powerboat Paulo.

Let’s start with Monohull Mike since he’s the one I’m more familiar with. He’s the kind of guy you take home to Daddy. Mike’s got clean strong lines and he comes from a respectable yard. He’s gonna get Daddy’s little girl home safe at night and he’s not gonna run out of gas on the way. He’s stable, he doesn’t move too fast and he’s got plenty of storage for his prophylactic safety devices.

Unfortunately , he only as room in his heart for you. He’ll gladly double date for an evening but only if it’s "dutch". He truly believes three is a crowd. His cockpit may be teenie but his heart his huge.

Multihull Mario: He’s the bad boy of the sailing world. The Monohull Mikes say he is unstable and doesn’t have the staying power. Mario says he likes being a little off balance and if he needs a little more thrust, that‘s what his jugs are for. He’s a party guy and his big cockpit will accommodate all comers. After you’ve multihulled you can try out the trampoline out front. Yee-Haw !!!

Trawler Tom: He’s the comfort food of boats. Just like a slice of Mom’s apple pie he’s a yummy piece of home. He’s got the back porch to rock away a lazy day with a good book. He’s got comfy chairs and real lamps. In his former life he might have been a Mike or Mario but he doesn’t want to work that hard on trim anymore, he just wants to get there. Lucky for us, he’s not in a hurry so he waits for the perfect moment, making the passage smooth and comfortable. And since he’s usually plugged in to a slip, you know what position you’re going to be in each and every night.

Powerboat Paulo: Ah…the elusive dreamboat that surges through our sodden dreams. He’s aloof and definitely high maintenance. Paulo may not know his way around a stuffing box, but what the heck, he’s got others to do the grunt work for him. He’s so sleek and sophisticated, we’d be happy just to polish his doorknobs. Ahh….but for most of us he is just a dream.

So there you go, Kary May’s guide to boat buying. It’s just so hard…uh, I mean difficult to choose. I think I’ll take one of each.

Is my mind in the bulge, uh, I mean bilge or do a lot of sailing terms have sexual connotations? I can think of dozens. How about you? How about sharing them with us by posting them under the comments tab at the bottom of this post.

Rule Four: Home is where the heart is

I know , I know, I know!
The Annapolis boat show is coming up and your cap'n is lathering to get out and get a boat. A word to the wise, read my article "Smitten" on this blog to see what happens at the Annapolis boat show. Believe me they all look good! And I promise next week's blog will be about what boat will suit you. But for now, I have one more thing you need to discuss before you even buy the airline tickets to the boat show. By the way, it's probably too late to get a room.

This topic may not seem significant but it will influence what kind of boat you buy and where you choose to sail and, once again, the cruising kitty. Better to get it out of the way.

How often will you travel back home?

This may not be of much concern if you are living aboard part time and spending the rest of the time at a land-based home that is conveniently located for trips to your favorite F&F’s(friends and family). You must keep in mind though, emergencies and important events that you will need or want to attend will sometimes happen. To illustrate this during our first year and a half of living aboard full-time four out of our five children got married, one parent died, one parent broke his hip and we’ve had two grandchildren. We made it back for all of the weddings, the funeral, and one grandchild's birth. However, we were either in FL or the Bahamas which is a 1 or 2 day flight to anywhere in the US. These are just the big events. With the high cost of travel this subject needs to come up in the arguing, I mean “setting the rules” stage of planning. Don’t forget to include trip expenses in the cruising kitty. Be prepared for the emergencies and be honest about the non-emergencies you expect to attend back in that other life. I can’t count the number of fights, I mean discussions, the cap’n and I have had over about what constitutes an emergency worthy of a trip home. How does this affect what kind of boat you're going to buy? Well, if you are going to stay in easy reach of F&F's you probably don't need a bluewater cruiser. Which is what the cap'n and I bought because we should have done all of the Caribbean and crossed to the Med by now. Instead, we found a place just 90 miles off of FL that some ski jets have made it to on one tank of gas and we fell in love. We've been there for four years but in our defense we've stayed at a different cay every year. By the way cap'n say's we're going further south this year. All of our boater friends just laugh.

Okay I'm getting tired of getting no input from my fellow first mates, I'm thinking of starting a roll call just like in school:
Dori (Sol y Mar)
Doris (Exit Strategy)
Cindy(?) It was one of those nights
Jill (JillyQ)
Pattie (Blue Dolphin)
Phyllisx2 (Chapter X and Mollie 2)
Marie (Typee Mistress)
Susan (Perpetual Motion)
Lynn (Boomerang)
Susie (Blue Jacket)
Ami (Mon Ami)
Ruthie (Galena)
Mary (I love that name) (Who Cares)
Linda (Ciganka)
Cat (Catherine) (Highland Wanderer)
& Many Many More
Hey gals,
All you have to do is click on that tiny comment tab on the bottom of this post and say "here". I know none of you are shy. I've danced around poles with you.
.........

Love you all!
Safe sailing

Mary

Hitting Rock Bottom

They always say the first step toward recovery is admission. We made our own painful admission in one of those all too common, smoke filled rooms where lost souls gather for comfort and that shaky support that helps people like us to keep going in the face of momentous adversity. We sat uneasily in a darkened corner of the room, interlopers amidst the familiar crowd. Finally someone spied our shrinking forms in the gloom and started toward us. As he neared and glimpsed our ravished faces his eyes widened in sympathy.

“What the hell happened to you?” he roared.

The room quieted and all eyes riveted to us. Next to me, the captain cleared his throat and muttered, almost inaudibly, “We, uh, hit a reef.”

A murmur rushed through the room. Arms were thrown about our shoulders, beers were thrust into our clammy hands, and we were welcomed into the fold. The meeting place was a funky little bar called “Coconuts” in St. Thomas and the injurious reef will remain anonymous since we don’t know the statute of limitations after hitting a reef. With the captain sprouting two fresh black eyes and me, the first mate, sporting a sutured hole in my bottom lip (before the stitch job, the captain observed that I was the only woman he knew that could close her mouth, pinch her nose, and still breathe) we spent the evening being regaled by stories and stories of boat mishaps. Each story grew in grandiose stupidity. That was our first bare boat charter. You people who consider putting your boat in charter, remember this. I wish I could say we’ve never run aground again but we continue our active membership in the “Bottom Dwellers Anonymous Club”. Luckily since the reef incident our groundings have been on friendlier bottoms in our own boat and none have required trips to the boat yard or emergency room. We even have our favorites! Lets see…..

There was the time we were headed out of the Chesapeake City anchorage. Concerned about the current pushing us starboard, we fought to stay in the middle of the channel when you could say we found “higher ground”. After several attempts to get off this mass of earth smack dab in the middle of the channel, we decided to kick back and have a couple of cold ones and wait for the tide to rise. Hey, why didn’t we think of that before we pulled up anchor? Since we were the morning’s source of entertainment for fellow boaters and the patrons of the restaurant off our stern, we decided to partake in some of our own side-poking. We especially enjoyed the smaller powerboats that would buzz by us in the channel, slow down and quizzically circle the boat and then question the obvious.

“Are you guys aground?”

“Nah”, we replied, “We just got tired and thought we’d stop and have a beer”.

That was about 10:00 a.m. and three hours later the tide finally lifted us off and on our way.
And then there was the time coming out of Annapolis. It was a gorgeous late September day when we left our dink tied to the mooring and headed out with two non-sailing guests for an afternoon of sun and sail. Shanna and Danny from our land locked hometown back in Kansas. had come out to visit us and see what a bay looked like. The captain was at the helm (although the captain disputes this, claiming our friend Shanna was at the helm, but that’s not the way the rest of us remember it). I was assisting Danny in raising the main and putting out the headsail. The wind was light. The bow dipped then rose to crest the foam and then…..
“Oh, sh--!” was heard from the cockpit (this indisputably from the captain) as the boat came to a graceful stop. Once again our fellow boaters displayed an uncanny grasp of the obvious. Most astute was the captain of the water taxi who helpfully told us,

“If you all get on the other side of that big white marker (obnoxiously noticeable off our port bow), you’ll be fine.”

Apparently he was not observant enough to notice we were not moving. Tow-Boat US to the rescue. Thank God we had the insurance!

Our latest mishap happened right south of the Carolina Beach Bridge. We were following a boat that we had noticed bumping bottom several times in the course of the morning trip down the ICW. Yep, that’s right we were knowingly following this boat. Now there could be several explanations for this: (A) We thought they might dredge a channel for us, (B) The Pied Piper Syndrome, where we are inexplicably drawn to one of “us”, and imminent peril, or (C) sheer stupidity. Luckily, we had sort of planned on another “occurrence” and had arranged for alternate means of rescue. Obviously we’d had this kind of trouble before. This time we had our own personal towboat following a few miles behind us. Tow- Boat “Next”, a 40 foot Sea Ray and her crew John and Justine, had befriended us months before in Block Island and had served on and off as our “scout” and rescue boat since. We highly recommend this arrangement. Once again, we provided entertainment for the passing rubberneckers.

In closing, I’d like to offer a bit of advice. Next time you’re chuckling at another boater’s misfortune remember, “There but for the grace of God, goes you”. And for all of you thinking it was sheer stupidity that landed us in the last predicament, believe me there were plenty of “followers” that we had to frantically direct to the real channel instead of the one we had just made. I won’t mention their names since anonymity is a right of the members of this non-exclusive club.

Our numbers are great and growing all the time. Just remember, we’re your neighbors at the dock, we’re the couple you met in the laundromat, we’re the boat you’re following right now…..Oh, Sh--!!!

Rule Three: Living Your Boating Lifestyle

Now that we have a breather from hurricanes. Let's get back to "Rules". I know your captain is getting anxious to get out there and buy a boat but there are a few more things to discuss.
One of them is what kind of lifestyle do you envision if you decide to take the plunge.

Just as you don’t spend all of your time in your house on the land you won’t spend all your time on your boat. What environmental conveniences or entertainment do you think will be necessary for your happiness and well-being on a boat? The standard (dirt-dweller’s) impression of cruising is sailing from one isolated paradise-like anchorage to another, spending everyday frolicking in the sand and water. Truthfully, there are many boaters that pull into a dock, plug in the electrical cord and don’t leave for months. They meet regularly for bridge games and drinks. They play tennis. They form yacht clubs. There is a myriad of lifestyles to choose from. Some are more expensive than others but inexpensive doesn’t necessarily mean deprived. One of the basic lifestyle decisions is where you want to cruise. Does he dream of Arctic endurance trials while you’re dreaming of tropical indulgence? Are you on the same time table for your cruise. Does he want to push on to a new port every night getting to some unnamed destination while you want to spend time enough to get to know the locals and maybe even become one? Do you require a daily hot shower, coiffed hair and manicured nails? While many hard scrabble cruisers may scoff at these needs, if they are important to you you’d better let it be known. Believe me there are well groomed people out here too, author not included, so it can be done but once again you have to plan for it by choosing a boat that can supply the electrical and water capacity necessary, or a dock and location that provides the necessary services. Do you live for golf or tennis or whatever? Once again it can be done but make sure you cruise where these things are available. These are just a few of the lifestyle questions that need answered because it will influence what kind of boat you buy. It will also influence the cruising kitty needed to live the lifestyle that is acceptable to you. It's better to make your needs known now before you end up with a boat that cannot provide them or a budget that won't support them. And remember...you can compromise but do not cave in.

As always, I'd love to hear from other First Mates or First Mate Wanna Be's on this topic. Please!
Just click on the comment link on the bottom of this post. You no longer have to register. Just click Name/Url and put it your name.

Also you can email any of my posts to friends by clicking on the envelope.

Also,Also,I have been trying to get the advertisements more relevant to this site and it doesn't seem to be working on the main page but if you click on the "Link" on the bottom of the posts those advertisements seem to be more for the boating stuff we or our captains love.

One more thing.... I have added links to my favorite boating websites and blogs on the left side of the page under "About Me"

Oh yeah, if I get lucky enough to actually have readers that follow this site, I'd love to know who you are. You can register in the Fellow First Mates section also on the left side of the page underneath "My Blog Sites. Don't be shy.

Have Fun!

Fender Dockline Shuffle: Docking the boat

The cap'n said to lighten things up a little:
Nobody told me that when we bought a boat I was supposed to magically transform into some kind of superwoman. You know, the “able to leap tall buildings in a single bound and stop runaway freight trains” kind of gal. Except in my case, I was expected to spring onto rickety old docks from a moving boat and stop our fifteen ton boat from crashing into said dock with its attending fleet of shiny boats and their very interested crews. This is a pretty tall order for a girl who’s adolescent athletic prowess consisted of a fervently whispered, “Please don’t let the ball come to me. Please! Please! Please!” In fact, the only thing I like about long trips is the fact we don’t have to dock. If the cap’n didn’t insist on docking every now and then to get fuel, we probably would have already completed a couple of circumnavigations.
Before we bought our boat we had never had the opportunity to practice docking. We had taken several charters and while they never explicitly said we couldn’t dock their boats, the fact that they drove their boats out of the dock at the beginning of the charter and then came out in a launch and brought the boats back in at the end of the charter was a big hint. We didn’t mind, we liked it that way. Now if we could just get somebody to do that with our own boat.
It doesn’t help that my docking history has a rather auspicious beginning. It should have been simple! It was slack tide and we were told to tie up at the end of a
T-dock. It was even slack water. Perfect for a first-timer. I was nervous but eager as I stood at midships with bowline in hand. I kept my eyes trained on the dock of which we were slowly coming along side.
“Closer.”
“Closer.”
“Not yet, just a little bit closer”
“NOW!!”
I took the leap. Gracefully (I’m sure) I arced to the dock. Softly I landed on the balls of my feet. I wobbled. I stepped back with my left foot (We’ll have to take points off for that.). The right foot soon followed and found nothing but air.
“Too much momentum,” I muttered as I dangled from the bowline on the other side of the dock. Although I despaired of ever winning the gold medal in the docking olympics, the ever present observers of all things asinine bestowed upon me the honorary title of “Lady GoDiving”. I would like to clarify that I was wearing clothes that day.
Early on in our sailing days we were assured by old salts that docking would be no problem because of those “omnipresent” dockhands. We soon found out that their presence is only felt between Memorial Day and Labor Day, and it seems they are bestowed with the same passive-aggressive sense of humor that you usually find in bridge tenders, but that’s another story. You know the routine. It goes something like this:
About an hour away from docking…
“Marina Anywhere, Marina Anywhere. Agur’s Wish…”
The answer comes quickly and clearly.
“Vessel calling Marina Anywhere, this is Marina Anywhere. How can I help you, cap?”
After you state your desire for a prestigious spot at their beautiful marina, you are soothingly assured that your request will be granted if you just call back when you get a little closer.
Fifteen minutes away from the marina…
“Marina Anywhere, Marina Anywhere. Agur’s Wish…”
Dead silence…
You repeat, “Marina Anywhere, Marina Anywhere. Agur’s Wish…”
Faintly you hear, “Vessel “crackle, crackle”. This is “static, static, garble, garble”.
“Marina Anywhere, this is Agur’s Wish. We have reservations tonight at your marina. Can you give us directions to the dock?”
With handheld plastered to your ear you can barely hear,
“Keep going on your current heading until you reach “crackle snap pop” dock. Your slip is the “static, static” dock on the “crackle, buzz” side.
“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Could you repeat what you said?” you implore, a little desperately.
“You’ll need a “crackle, crackle, snap” side tie up.”
“Will there be somebody there to help us with our lines?”
The response is clear this time.
“Oh, yeah. There’ll be somebody there to, “snicker, snicker” help you, alright.”
Now the real fun begins. You dash for the binoculars and frantically begin searching for either a sign from God or a guy in khaki shorts and raybans nonchalantly waving his handheld at you.
Finally you spot him, (not God, the guy in the raybans). He summons you forward casually indicating your intended dock. He watches coolly as you race to tie dock lines and attach fenders. Just as you finish securing the last fender, his lips curl in a cruel little smile.
“Oh by the way this is a stern in only dock”, he says.
As the captain tries to explain to the unconcerned dockhand that your boat doesn’t drive well in reverse, you frantically race to untie and retie dock lines and detach and reattach fenders. Meanwhile the captain is busy trying to convince the butt end of your boat that it’s supposed to go into the slip and as usual it’s acting like the stubborn ass it is and is instead heading for the bowsprit of the boat in the next slip
All the while the evil guardian angel dockhand is keeping watch with his benevolent smile. Finally, much like a cat with a dead mouse, he tires of playing with you.
“Oh, alright, I guess you can come in bow first”, he relents.
Once more you do the fender/dockline shuffle while he guides the captain to bring the bow in closer….closer…keep coming…Crash!
“Whoa! Perfect!” he exclaims.
Finally the catastrophe is over and the boat is miraculously tied up safely for the night. The captain and you are settled in the cockpit with potent sundowners. Suddenly a hapless sailboat comes rushing in on the current. The panicked expression on the first mate’s face is easily recognizable. Your head swivels and you spot the same dockhand sauntering toward the last empty slip which just happens to be right next door. The captain and you look at each other. You know what you have to do. You jump off the boat and race to the empty slip, ready to do what you can to save your comrades from the evil grip of the dockhand, or at least minimize the damage to your boat.
Of course, the whole time I’m thinking…
“Please, please, please don’t throw the dock line to me!!”

P.S. To all dockhands every where, I have realized that the “evil dockhand” is a psychotic hallucination brought about by a fear of docking. The perceived evilness rapidly disappears the minute we are safely secured at the dock. Past and future “Muchas Gracias” to those that prevent imminent peril to life, limb and boat if us boaters were left to our own devices.

Sailing Into A Bigger World

I talked to a friend of mine yesterday who has just bought a house in Galveston. Just like me, she is from land-locked Kansas and is having to pay attention to hurricanes for the first time in her life. The tornadoes that are inherent to our landscape didn't allow us the priviledge or frustation of a week or more of guessing and second guessing. Maybe that is why I have little understanding of people that have ample warning and still choose to stay. That being said...I listened to reports of mandatory evacuations in Cuba this morning and wondered, "Where will they go?" I've looked at pictures of the continuous devastation of Haiti and wonder why these people are allowed to suffer the way they do and I knew that my friend Bill on s/v Blue Rondoe was probably headed down there to help. While watching as the storm turned away from the northern Bahamas and our boat, I read the reports from Inagua and wondered which of my friends' family members have been affected. Our boat has exposed me to a larger world and caused me to invest in its people. It's risky, but worth it. So, if after watching these storms, you're thinking that owning a boat is just not worth it, think again. Let's continue to offer prayers and crossed fingers for our family and friends in the Gulf.

Hurricane Rules: How to prepare for a hurricane

Since Hurricane Hanna is about to bear down on our boat in the Bahamas I thought I would write a blog to keep my mind off of what might be happening to our boat, Agur's Wish. There are numerous strident and usually contradictory instructions on how to prepare the boat for a hurricane so I'm not going to get into that here. Instead I'm going to shared some lessons the cap'n and I learned about preparing ourselves after experiencing both Hurricane Frances and Jeanne in the Bahamas in 2004.

"Early" is the key concept in hurricane preparation.

Rule 1: The minute you clear customs in any new country register with your country's embassy in the country you are traveling in. This will let offials know where you are and if there is any kind of emergency, natural or political, they will know you are there and what kind of aid to render. This is a simple procedure and can usually be done over the internet or phone. For U. S. citizens go to www. usembassy.gov which will give you a list of countries. Click on the country your are visiting to view information pertinent to that country. The Bahamas even has a section on hurricane preparedness.

.2. Have a hurricane hole secured early. If you know you are going to be sailing in a specific area, you should have a secure hurricane hole picked out months before hurricane season arrives. For the past four years we have rented a mooring ball in the same harbour that the boat rode out Frances and Jeanne. Many boaters we know pay for these moorings for months while they sail the nearby islands just so they will have a place to run in case of a storm. Please note that all moorings should be dove on and checked by you personnally and you will have to add additional lines and chafe gear according to your own beliefs (I promised I wouldn't go there). If you decide to anchor out, once again the key is to get there "early"! Everybody will be running for the hurricane spots so you'll want to get there first to find a good spot. If you are there early you will be able to watch the mooring techniques and storm preparations of the boats that come in after you. If you deem that their preparations are inadequate you have two choices: you can jump in your dinghy and steam over to their boat and demand they move their boat and adhere to your strong suggestions (not likely), or you can offer to help them get their boat ready for the storm, giving you some damage control, literally. Believe me, most people are more than happy to accept help and suggestions when faced with the momentous task of getting a boat ready for a hurricane if approached in the right way. If the cap'n balks, ask the first mate if she/he needs help. She'll be more than glad to have you help the cap'n get the sails down while she secures things down below. Lastly, after seeing what was left of the Marsh Harbour docks after the hurricanes, I would never recommend leaving your boat at a marina dock. The pictures speak for themselves.

3. Have the boat and you ready early. You should allow at least three days for hurricane preparations and that is after you have moved the boat to your hurricane hole. Luckily, hurricanes give us plenty of warning as long as we are not laying bets on which way they might turn. Always assume they are going to turn in your direction. Once again I am not going to dwell on how to get the boat ready, there is plenty of literature out there for that. A couple of things I do want to mention though is to make sure you are topped off with water and electricty. Water will keep your boat heavier in a blow and plus it may be the only source of fresh water available after the storm. Electricity speaks for itself. After Frances and Jeanne, I felt superior to the dirt dwellers for the first time knowing I had fresh water and electricity on the boat when the people living in the fancy houses on shore didn't. Instead I want to dwell on how to get yourself ready to leave the boat. Even if everything you own is on the boat, you can't take it all with you. First of all, if you go to a public shelter they won't let you bring it in. Second, if you had good enough friends that helped you haul all that crap off your boat and up 26 marina steps and into the private shelter they are sharing with you, after days of being cooped up with you and all your crap, I promise they will not help you haul it back to your boat. Just remember that mantra you kept telling yourself when you sold all your belongings to move aboard "It's only stuff!" So.... early, way before a hurricane heads your way, make a list of things you will be taking with you off of your boat. You don't need a ditch bag because you should have plenty of time to gather these things. The list should include:

• Most importantly, papers i.e. passports, boat insurance, greenbacks, cruising permit, immigration documents, pet papers, medical records and prescriptions, health insurance.....you can never have too many papers.


• Clothes for a week. For some of us that amounts to one pair of shorts and a t-shirt but remember in the places that we cruise electricity and water may be shut off for long periods of time after a hurricane. After Frances and Jeanne it was close to month before we could find a laundromat open in the Abacos. Also remember you may not be able get right back to your boat, assuming you still have a boat to get back to.


• Food and water. Whether you go to a public shelter or secure a private residence, you will have to bring enough food and water to sustain you through the hurricane. Most of the food should be non-perishable (don't forget to pack a can opener). If you are in a shelter you will probably not have facilities to cook or refigerate it and even if you are in a private home these luxuries may be short lived. The Red Cross advises that you bring one gallon of water per person per day. This may not be possible, but do try to tote as much as you can. That's another good reason to make sure your tanks are full. Remember to remember your pet's needs also. Oh yeah, don't forget the emergency, only for medicinal use, recreational beverages. I know, I know, I know! They are not on the Red Cross Emergency List and they are not allowed in shelters (another reason to avoid public shelters) but this is my blog and the Red Cross has probably never been stuck for five days with boaters who have been enjoying nightly happy hours for years when the liquor runs out. I have and it ain't pretty. I've even heard of covert operations raiding nearby, unoccupied, dwellings for a cache. Unfortunately, the liquor cabinet was locked.


• Communication devices. Cell phones will eventually start working again. Computers and internet access will eventually start working again, besides it has all of your photos on it. So take them with you. The cap'n and I have had an Iridium satellite phone since we started sailing full-time. It has never failed us and even in the height of the hurricanes I was able to call back home and let family know we were alright . We were also able to help other boaters and locals call their families that were "off-island". Satellite phones can seem expensive but they are usually less expensive than trying to use your state-side cell phone. Our satellite phone costs about $1.00 per minute where our cell phone costs almost $3.00 per min. You can also rent satellite phones. To check out prices for renting or buying check out http://www.gmpcs-us.com/ or http://www.satphonestore.com/ . Another popular satellite phone is Global Star but I have heard a lot of complaints about calls being dropped. One of the boaters that stayed with us during the hurricanes had a Global Star and experienced this.


• Okay, now you can take you other valuables. Your jewelry, your gold coins, your stock certificates...oops, those belong with the papers your taking off the boat.

4. You don't have anymore line or rope left to secure anything else and the boat is looking like something out of a bondage fantasy. You've even used your last pair of shoelaces. Your sitting in the cockpit in the glaring sun with your meager possessions because you've taken all the canvas down and there's no room for you down below. Now, where are you going to go? Of course, "now" is not the time to start thinking about it. Once again, whether you've made your preparations "early" is going to be the key to the comfort in which you ride out the hurricane. Almost every place is going to have shelters available. The things to consider when considering a public shelter are:

• Do they take pets? If they do, are the pets required to be crated?


• You will have to take enough non-perishable food with you to last through the storm.


• Sleeping accomodations may be rudimentary.


• Bathing accomodations may be rudimentary.


• Lavaratory facilities may be rudimentary.


• Privacy will be minimal.

I don't mean to sound completely negative about shelters. In fact, I know several boaters that really enjoyed staying in the shelter they stayed in. In general, you can judge the conditions of the shelter by the conditions of the community. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Another option is staying at a resort or hotel since they have usually evacuated their guests. But since they have evacuated their guest, they probably don't want you there either.

Finally, you can seek out a private home. Many locals are very generous in opening their homes to boaters, especially if you have made yourself part of the community, and lots of times even if you haven't. If you are fortunate enough to have this option, please respond graciously and be an exemplary guest. Cook that meal, wash that pot, grab that mop! Believe me, you don't want to be voted out of the house in the middle of a hurricane. You want to be invited back next time, which happened to us when Jeanne followed Frances by only two weeks. If you don't receive an invite and you don't want to go to a shelter you may be able to rent a house during the storm. Many homes in cruising grounds are second homes that are rented out. They usually have caretakers that are on-island that you can contact about renting. Just ask around. Several boaters usually get together to rent one house.

5. Last, but most important. Get off the damn boat!! You'll notice I didn't even mention staying on the boat as an option and I know I'm going to get some grief from some boater friends about that. But really, a boat is just a boat, and is replaceable. You're not. Your cap'n is not. Your crew is not. Your pet is not. And the person that has to risk his life to rescue you is not.